"I keep trying to find the magic bullet, but I might actually start succeeding as soon as I quit looking for it."

Hi 4M....spot on. You've answered your own question here.

This was me too. Once I realised there was no magic bullet, this might take a long time, we may never reconcile, I accepted things better. That helps to shift the focus away from W/OW (things you can't control) and onto you and your D. And actually 75+% of stuff on these boards is about people doing just that.

Time, patience and working on you are the big things to focus on now. What kind of man do you want to be whatever way things go? What things do you want to do? How do you want your R with your D to be etc...Time is especially useful with A's as so many don't survive in the longer term. But really, whilst the A is in full flow, you really can't compete - and back to the acceptance above....

Last edited by Toots; 02/18/15 09:26 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus