I would reply something like "Sorry, today is nuts; that doesn't work for me."
As for her laundry, I would almost always advise you "NO, do NOT do her laundry!" (at this stage) ... but since there are just a few items, and she throws them in with yours?? I think it might look PETTY if you separated them out and left them, hmmmm, not sure about this one. Maybe throw them in the washer and the dryer, but then just leave the items in the dryer while you fold yours and put it away? Do you typically fold it for her too?
I would say no to laundry and working on the car. Big girl panties.... Would you take your neighbors car for an oil change? Nope! I bet they wouldn't even think to ask something like that.
Treat her like you would treat a neighbor.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
I hope today is a better day too. In terms of the laundry - if it's a couple of pairs of pants and a T shirt a week, you may want to just chuck them in with yours, otherwise you could look like you're trying to make a petty point. But if there's quite a bit of laundry going in there, I would certainly leave it for her to do herself.
I think mimimal husbandly duties are called for in this kind of sitch - mostly because you're busy living your own life of course!
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
To this very day, it makes me and to know that I was picking up my H's dirty underwear - (sorry, in advance, for the visual) with OW inside them - when I did his laundry. You can bet your A$S that if I had KNOWN he was screwing around, his dirty laundry would have been the LAST thing my fingers touched.
Hijack alert: Starsky, did you know there's a folder in your FB messages titled "others"? Totally annoying. But you totally should check it out!
Signed, Train, who used to get paid to dig
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Starsky, Thank you, that is what i am going to do as far as the scooter goes. The laundry is very minimal i mean very minimal like a shirt or workout gear thats it on a typical weekly basis. But i do fold it and i set it on her dresser i do not put it away. I will try and be more neighborly instead of husbandly. I just worry about the vehicle and want to make sure it is running right and safe. But i guess i can bite the bullet and she can take it in. thank you.
Starsky, Thank you, that is what i am going to do as far as the scooter goes. The laundry is very minimal i mean very minimal like a shirt or workout gear thats it on a typical weekly basis. But i do fold it and i set it on her dresser i do not put it away. I will try and be more neighborly instead of husbandly. I just worry about the vehicle and want to make sure it is running right and safe. But i guess i can bite the bullet and she can take it in. thank you.
just to make things clear she usually throws it in the washer but does not run the cycle i do that. then i dry fold but never put away and it is very minimal. thanks for all the advice everyone it is helpful. The feeling of anger and anxiety are a bit better today, and i would think it would be worse after seeing and talking to her yesterday. but its not.
ok this is what was said and how i responded. i have not sent it yet. i want your opinions.
Wife-Is there something wrong with your bike?
The scooter needs its 300 mile tune-up. I was going to call and see if it can be done today. Since you are riding it would you be able to take it after work?
now i have only rode the scooter once witch is today! but that is why i asked you guys because i have rode it and does that commit me to fixing it.
Me- I have ordered a part for my bike, so waiting for it to come in.
As for the scooter, sorry, today is nuts; so it doesn't work for me. You are more than welcome to set up the appointment and do it. The scooter will be at the house later or you can take it from work and leave me the vehicle until you finish.
I'm wondering why she only gives you a few things to wash. Is that all the laundry she has? Seems like she is just giving you some little tasks to keep you holding on to the string.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5