Complex #5 - progress and throwbacks

[Mozza]

Your analysis is interesting. Let me suggest a different take on it, from a fellow DB practitioner.

Your error was not to mistrust your WAW, it was how you communicated it to her. WAW are not to be trusted. Mine and that of just about everyone here lied until caught, no matter their character or track record. Read on other boards and cheating spouses do the exact same thing the world over. They've lost their respect and commitment to LBS, so their only concern is to protect their current situation. Lies do that.

Now what you've done is not just to mistrust your WAW but to assume the worst and confront her without proof. She made a fool of you. Starsky309 didn't even confront his WAW when he had all the evidence he needed. He just said: "Stop. We both know you're lying" and moved on. He had a full house and let his WAW wonder. You've seen magic, right? You know how they distract your attention while performing the trick? It's called misdirection. That's what she did. Never let the culprit choose the incriminating evidence.

The fact that she's upset does not mean that you're not making progress. In fact, this whole blowup about the GPS sounded to me like that of someone who feels vulnerable. She did not have a calm explanation, she had dynamite to keep you at a distance. Certainly, you'll agree that she doesn't want you to snoop. Why? Is it really that upsetting?

Finally, we all have little chances of saving our M. We can't nice our WAS back. It has to come from them. It gets worse before it gets better. Try to come up with a plan, with a long term perspective. It sounds like something that would benefit not only your sitch but the rest of your life.