Devotion to a dream...

[phunguy]

Last night, W wanted to have some discussion about a few things, kids and the fact that her Aunt and Uncle's annual trip to our home is planned for about 4 weeks from now. Every year they come to visit us in the sunshine from the frozen North where they live. I absolutely adore them. They are two of the most kind and caring people I've ever known. He is pastor and she dedicated to service. She realizes that we would have to share our bedroom again as she's in the guest room now and that when they come they would stay in there and not her. W keenly picked up and pointed out that this would play into my hand, and told me such as she smiled and said this must make you happy. I told her I was not sure if it made me happy or not but I would not object. I told her that I would sleep on the floor if she'd like. She said still smiling she didn't think it would be necessary. She then said, she didn't want to tell them anything about our situation and that would be best in her opinion. I told her she knows how my relationship with her uncle is and that I greatly value him and her Aunt as friends and family. I would abide by her wishes as best I could but made no promises.

She did then as a result of this get into R talk a bit I let her do the talking and she told me that she admires my dedication and tenacity to saving the M, that she was proud of me for that. Also, that I have made her think long and hard and that I am making it difficult for her.I wanted to press her on that thought, but laid back and was cool letting her go on. I presume she was implying that it was difficult to continue to think D is a good option or that things could change as she had before that they couldn't and she didn't want to try. The fact that I have possibly introduced doubt about D into her mind at this point I think, is a good thing, if she's questioning her original decision then I think I have made progress. based on her comment about tenacity I presume she's noticing how much I care for and love her. I can only hope that some of my 180s are paying off!

Trying to not think about the weekend and just letting her go have space and time. Maybe, being away for a few days is exactly what she needs. I think I am at peace today with what she may see as a needed break. Maybe some time at her D'd girlfriends place is what she needs.