Well, we have a good mutual female friend, who keeps in touch with us both, and is supportive of our M. I have held off asking her anything since I started DBing as it was 'against the rules.' To her, I have been presenting myself as moving forwards and enjoying what new life has to offer. I could ask her and ask that she doesn't tell H.

Otherwise, it's asking him direct (not very appealing, but is it best to be direct?) or asking a mutual male friend, but TBH that friend is more 'his' - tho I know he was against the A relationship. The final person is his XW, who again has been very pro our R and against the A. But that just feels a bit weird. Plus, I'm not sure who, if anyone, yet knows of his redundancy and I don't want to go around breaking that news to others...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus