WAW Affair admittd 3

[Ontheup]

BFF?

my wife doesnt personally know nor has ever met the other woman. I have never seen not contacted the other woman since.

This other women is from where i used to live growing up so my wife contacted a mutual friend who still lives there to find out who she is.

Think we got lost in translation as far as it being my wifes friend. this is not the case

Fair enough but yet, you said this:


Youve got me 25, i am down playing my own infideilty. People i have told about what is going on know full well what i have done. Im ashamed and feel guilty about what i have done. The truth is that i am struggling to reconcile what ive done with what my wife is still doing. i suppose this is where me taking responsabilty for my own actions comes in.


Did your wife tell others about it and if so, how'd you feel then? Why'd you tell others?

BTW, I don't think it's bad that you did, as long as it didn't further embarrass your wife. But what do you mean about reconciling what you did, with what she is?

Do you feel like it has to be "even", at some subconscious level? B/C if you do, I'd have to wonder if your w felt the same thing. Like she has a "free pass" on an affair b/c of yours.

Then again, does it matter? It only matters in the sense that it MIGHT mean she'll learn a lesson faster. Time will tell.

So, back to your basics. What are the 180's you are striving to do?

And GAL? We hammer it here b/c it works. Seriously. Let's get back to You...

Hey 25

I don't know if my wife told anyone else about my infidelity. I do know she asked our mutual friend about this woman. She said it was in a way as not to cause any suspicion. who knows.
As far as me telling people, I have told my parents and colleagues at work who know my sitch so they know the whole story.
Call it double standards if you like. I find it hard though to compare a one night to wife having an affair where she is and has been lying to everyone for a very long time.

180's ok well im pushing on with moving out. I have emailed wife this morning asking for her account details as I need to change some direct debits. Im buying a car in next day or 2. I have never owned my own car. Always business or shared. I've completely switched off to doing all the housework. Just doing the bare minimum. House is a wreck.
Standing on my own 2 feet. I have been down trodden for a long time. Im not taking any more of it. This is the new confident me where I make decisions rather than relying on my wife to make them for me. I already know she has commented about the fact that im actually following through with the move.


Far as GAL, it difficult at the minute with work and trying to organise my move but ice skating tomorrow with D8, horse riding Saturday morning with D8. Just completed some brilliant homework with d8. Saturday night im out with friends at school reunion.
When I leave I will be looking to get back to the gym, pick up my art which I haven't done for 20 years, get out on bike more, continue to spend quality time with d8 and night out with friends once a month.