May your,

[Ggrass]

Runs in twirls and says

Omg how's that edz and jim!

I got the cute dudes bussiness card. Today has gotten far bettera. Oh and some of h family have been lurking on the outter. Seems things are moving forwards now I'm wanting it to go a bit slower.

Now with al, the pushing I've done and wanting things to hurry up, I'm thinking mmmmm not so fast.

I don't want to rush anymore. I feeling like I want cake, vanilla, chocolate and strawberry but as friends. Sigh
Up and down round and out.

[edz]

Now you're sounding much more yourself matey

So googled nsw as suggested along with the other info have a far better idea of your loc now, nothing like I had been thinking, seems very varied from the pics, lovely though no wonder you're happy there.

[Ggrass]

turns out he's not 20! Thank god.

Youngish tho, but the score card for older screwed up blokes hasn't been that great.

Perhaps a 180 is a good thing.

[edz]

Well I think the dating age shinanigins says 29 for you if I remember rightly. Honestly though its so much horse hockey anyway, if you go down the dating route and youre both happy what's it matter.

Having said that Im not sure a 29 year old would want anything to do with me or if I'd feel comfortable with someone that much younger than me from others thinking Im a creepy middle aged bloke perspective, almost always dated older than me anyway or at least same age.

Not looking right now but I dont think there would be that many lining up looking my way anyway

GG if you're happy, go for it.

[Ggrass]

So chatted via fb.

Mmmmm longish chat in which I learnt not much more than age 37, and location where he came from. Which I knew before.


Sounds odd. Feels odd, he just doesn't seem to want to revel much.

H used to keep secrets and it feels a bit like h. Ask a question don't get a real answer. I will reserve judgment.

He did say he was leaving town, till his job started unless he got work I pass on some places that might need help. So who knows.

[edz]

Sounds interesting, 37s a good age match (again if you're comfortable).

Hmm..

*At this stage* I wouldnt worry too much about those answers, I think

(a) {at least speaking for myself} we're pretty programmed to be open in our conversations with others from db and various IC at this stage in our lives - I keep finding Im sharing more than I did, probably too much at times so we may think people are being cagey when they dont offer up lots of info.

(b) could just be shy
(c) may be blown away by you and is worried he could put you off
(d) something else entirely

Or there could be something else going on, you're completely right to pay attention especially with the experiences you've had but my .02 for whats its worth (most likely .02 thinking about it ) just relax, see what happens and see if he opens up more

Enjoy and have fun, you deserve it.

[Ggrass]

Hey even a work mate male is like oh your getting texts.

I asked him if he can remember the Last time he picked up and had $ex. Then he's far in front of gg. Way In front.

I cannot really remember what month of 13 it was, well before bd.

It might be fun, who knows. Now the balls in his court, he can contact another time now he has contacts. Alhough his card has a pma quote about failure. Impressive.

Work besties party and we are going all out on her mate who gave away the testicles. More enormous fun, althought she had me worried about the bra letting things fall out. So I wore it to work. Oh dear, it will be good to get off at the end of the night. It's not that nice to wear, but no falling out, thank god.

Look guys it might be a bumpy ride, not all my r stuff is out here and trying to over come some issues that include major trust issues will be hard.

So that's why I'm looking at the buffet, not to eat too much but to take an educated look and find something far better. While doing better myself.

[edz]

Hi Gg,

yup can understand all that. I mentioned a little while back reconcilation or new relationship down the road I'm going to have to be careful on trust issues cropping up and I've had Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less cr@p to deal with than you based on the info you've posted here. You can only do the best, be as open as you can and feel comfortable doing. Anyone worth the effort should recognise and support you in that.

Anything you want to share and I can help comment on go ahead.

Now - being me - I could make some diversionary joke about sausages at the buffet but I'm way, way above such things...

Way above...

Well, a little bit...

Well.....

[Ggrass]

Sorry, but only a couple of trusted friends know exactly everything.

It took me about 10 to even tell anyone I was so ashamed I hadn't spoken up. Then if you look at truely abusive r, mine had all the hallmarks.

Totally text book. H used my needs and feelings as control methods to get what he wanted. Given the way h behaved, I'm pretty sure this ow was not the first.

In this family men make the infedelity mistake and the women make excuses and cover.
H cousin, as I explained he in his way was a preditory man, looking for the next ow.
H and him are close. The plan I am pretty sure was h expected me to be plan b.

With ow as plan a. Once I didn't cover or lie, I'm history.

The family closed ranks. Mil acted "as if" I was dead or ever happened.

This is why I'm so focused on being switch on. Holding value, which is something I dint really do with h, I thought I did. The stich shows otherwise.

[edz]

Hi Gg

Nothing to be sorry about, you can tell us exactly as much as you feel comfortable doing. No one here can ask you to do more than that. Telling close friends / trusted people is precisely the right thing to do. I dont think any of us on here have told everything, I certainly havent gone into all the details as you've seen regarding "thing" somethings just arent open for a discussion on a forum as open as this.

As long as you have some people you can talk about them to I dont think thats anything to be apologetic about, I always respect peoples privacy, always

As to H's behaviour, well I think you know my feelings and I cant and wont defend that kind of behaviour from a spouse let alone the families response.

Indeed you should hold onto your values and self worth Gg, I (as Ive said so many times) had nowhere near the same sitch but I suppressed what I wanted and what would make me happy for many years as I thought I was doing the right thing, that blew up in my face as no one, anyone, can take suppressing who they are indefinitely and stay well balanced and happy something always has to give. All relationships (well, longer term ones) are a compromise of some sort as they are (peskilly at present) with other humans not a perfect android of all our desires, hopes and needs. Even if they were those change as we do so we'd still compromise or constantly upgrade.

We compromise but if only one partner does so its no longer healthy. Hold onto your core values and you'll be happy, thats the plan anyway.

Anyway, by my station keepers watchits after, good lord! 1AM your time!

Have a good night, catch you later.

Edz