MCS

Let us examine the phrase "holding my family together".

I will initially sound a little negative and this is a phrase I hear a great deal in Gamanon when a partner is actively gambling and is destroying their family life for their addiction. It looks like holding the family together or putting it back together is the best option and actually it isn't possible and neither may it be desirable whilst the gambler is gambling.

MCS your family is a different type of family now, with H and W being parents separately. MCS has no control over W and thus over this aspect of family. This could be temporary or unhappily permanent but it is as it is today.

It probably easy for you to see that with the case of the gambler. Your W is silimilar she is addicted and has gone. This addiction of W will have to run its course and there is no longer way other Than letting it do so. Just as the non gambler has to be the stable influence and allow the gambler to fall and to 'hit bottom' , then MCS: W will need to do the same.

Does this mean MCS has to cover for W? absolutely not. Does MCS want to put together his family with M and D at the core? Of course he does, but that may mean for the time being at minimum, or forever possibly separately parenting.

The A could last as long as 3 years in its beginning phases before reality strikes in phase 2 for A. Only MCS knows what he will do and he must do what is best for his children. From how you describe your children and their unhappiness then MCS another way of acceptance to reduce the unhappy environment must be found.

MCS can choose to create a different family environment for his children and can V suggest that at this time that would MCS be the dad 'holding the family together'? MCS this is something RD500 does well for his children and Jim is loving his family life with his much younger children. Can mums and dads do this on their own? absolutely yes.

MCS the well being of your family unit and your children is your action. Please choose the course of action that MCS by being the best MCS that he can be is the father lighting the way to family life for his children and himself. Even though this may not be the family life he prefers. The family is not broken to be held together like a piece of fired pottery, it is more like plasticine and hence the family has changed and moulded to a different shape, a different piece which is of itself beautiful.

MCS, you have no control over W in this. Go be the best MCS and create the best family you can for MCS and for your children. Your children will see this and tread their own path.

My prayers are with MCS and for the strength to make today the best family day for MCS and his children. Held in love and not merely held together.

Vanilla

Last edited by Vanilla; 02/18/15 05:48 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW