Hey Z. To clarify, physical stuff does NOT mean, I repeat, does NOT mean I hit her in ANYWAY. It was more..i stood in the door and blocked her path. Was it right? Absolutely NOT. I can definitely see how scary that must be for her. And yes, I have addressed this and the attacks on her worth in counseling. I saw an IC for this, but AFTER she left. I didnt realize or know how much it bothered her. So I am in a much better place now, and have made gains with the IC when I saw him in Georgia.
The verbal attacks...i regret so much. which is why my validating her all the time now and supporting her actually causes some confusion in her, and she asks me, why are you so ok with me being wishy washy on my decisions in life. Everyone says things they don't mean when they get angry but I hit below the belt. Why? Because I didnt have anything over my wife, and i felt the need to have some ammo to defend myself with when she got mad. Honestly? its a feeling where ironically i felt inferior to my wife. My wife is awesome. Perfect blond haired blue eyed bombshell with a personality that is even more attractive. I was attracted by her looks at first, but her personality is what kept me around, always looking forward to the next thing in our life. People love her more than me, and these are my friends. She is everything I am not and everything I wish I could be, and I felt inferior to her. So when we argued, I already knew she was better than me, and I cant do any better than her. That whole thing about marrying someone better than you or in a different league? YEA, how i felt. I didnt feel good enough for her or why in the hell she picked me when she could have anyone she wanted. I just felt inferior and anything and everything was fair game- huge mistake. I don't know if this makes sense.
Last edited by TLEE86; 02/18/1503:38 AM.
ME: 28 W: 24 M: 2.5yrs T: 5yrs BD: 22 SEP 14 W Leaves: 5 OCT 14
