You know, almost all WASs can appear like narcissists when in the middle of their crisis. But if the tendencies were there PRIOR to the crisis - sometimes we can only see it if we take a dispassionate look at the past.
I never thought of my ex as a narcissist until my best friend pointed out the tendencies. Once I really thought about it, I could see the mild outline of it extending into the early days of our relationship. I do remember thinking, while married, that if I were to become seriously ill, like breast cancer or something, that my ex would not be able to provide the support needed (as it was, he was definitely not supportive when I developed a chronic autoimmune condition, which made me tired and a little spacey).
My current boyfriend, on the other hand? I'm pretty sure he'd tend to me hand and foot if need be if I got seriously ill, and beyond that, if my mom developed dementia I think he'd be right in there with me doing the dirty work. It's tremendously comforting to know that about him.
Some of my ex's selfish behavior since the divorce, relating to the kids, may have its roots in some narcissism. I don't really care enough to wonder about it now.
