She won't be if you do that. Not saying don't...just you know...if you punch someone in the face you should expect a fight. You present her a spreadsheet of her sucking as a parent...you know...fight.
Jer if you had detachment 100% down, I'd be worried that your lying or had a little OW on the side. : )
As for the kids. Keep up the good work, remember that you are their support not the other way around. You do not lean on them you do not involve them they are not adults. They are't spies or allies. One parent is screwing them up enough right?
Yeah -- not going to do the spreadsheet thing... We ended the evening on a civil conversation last night and during the civil convo I did mention her work hours and the sleeping in late -- she's in MLC, no need to bring it up again because just bringing it up in last night's convo was risky enough... I don't think she'll be able to admit her own fault regarding time with the kids until she's out of MLC... If she ever makes it out of the tunnel.
As for detaching... yep, no need to lie and no OW on the side. I do have a friend who is showing interest, but I know that would NOT be a good thing to pursue right now... So I am being very careful with this friend. Being open with her about my sitch but also trying hard to not lead her on -- she's available, but I'm not and won't be for a long time for a variety of reasons. And unlike my W, I am not going to self-medicate with an OW to avoid dealing with my issues...
As for the kids -- no need to worry... I am trying very hard to just provide a stable, loving environment for them. You are so correct -- the other parent is creating a bad situation for them -- so I am trying to counteract what she is doing. We haven't even told them yet -- no need to until I move out. So definitely not leaning on them or trying to involve them, and I am definitely not planning to involve them as spies or in any other way once I do move out and we are sharing custody. The good news is that the environment I have been able to provide -- including my efforts to reduce my own stress and reduce the stress around them -- does seem to have worked in terms of their behavior... There is a marked improvement from just a few months ago all the way around with the kids.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
