W still having PA with OP

[4mendmj]

Met with lawyer which gave me some peace of mind regarding finances and custody should we divorce. Gives me the strength to keep moving forward for me while still married. I read Train's post about the struggle, will say more over there but dangit that hit hard for some reason. But, I want to stay married and I am not going to stay married by filing for divorce so... Next steps...actions not words....

1) Day off tomorrow going to clean my closet to better organize the little bit of clutter in my life
2) Going to swim tomorrow, do a fun lunch tomorrow out, making plans for my once a week evening out with friends
3)separating finances tomorrow for me. W makes more than me but she spends more than she makes so I am giving my money back to me for me. I don't need to be an enabler for her and I don't need to go to work to watch someone else spend it on their OW.
4) W not speaking to me hardly at all, like 10 words a day maybe. Need to learn to understand that is probably ok right now. She is in the middle of a PA so she is not a fan of mine and I need to do my thing for me and will see if it improves in the next # of weeks.

Marathon not a sprint is something I struggle with daily, but alas I am still here. Have been, will continue to be. I keep re-reading some of the responses in my thread, thank you again to all of you. Your words help me even after the fact. I have been reacting too much to things and need to be proactive for me. I say I want to save my marriage but I read other sitchs where it is hard for the LBS to show any change when the WAW is already separated. Someone's quote says time is a gift....I need to remember that daily. I have not had a cigarette now in 3 days. Not one. Big step. Very proud. Have not said a word to W. She would see it as a ploy, but I know it is good for me and good for D6 too that her dad will be more healthy. Need to be careful of the extra snacks right now as I know I eat way more when I quit smoking but, I can do this. I want W to leave her PA addicition so, I say I can kick my habit and prove to myself that changes can be made.