The awakening of me Part 3

[mleigh4]

Hi Job and thank you. I know I can't depend on him, but she is his dog too and he is always asking to take her home but S says no. Lol. He knows better than me!

I had a night filled with anxiety. Being away from home, worrying about my animals, angry at H....Thankfully I was able to get some sleep. I had a dream about H. He was telling me that he was seeing someone and he thought he loved her, but it didn't work out. I said, what!? Every time I asked you you always denied having someone. He said he didn't understand why I was so upset, that we were separated. So I told him, relationships are work, marriage is tough, but just because times get hard, it doesn't mean you bail. I yelled at him, you totally bailed on our life! He started laughing hysterically. I slapped him and woke up. Ugh, not a good dream!

I woke up wondering why am I so angry right now? Why so anxious? Well, it may have been the 6 hour drive of thinking. Lots of thinking about sitch and bringing me to feeling overwhelmed about it. I decided, I am on vacation, a special one with S with memories to last. Time to shake it off!

I have to hope the best for my pets. My cat is in good hands and safe. She will be fine. My dog, well, she is chipped if she gets loose while H is at work. There is nothing I can do now but hope for best.

As for H, it is what it is. I have not invited him over once since he moved out, that will remain the same. Dinner just happens, I don't invite him, and I see how much S enjoys it, so that will have to just play out for now. I think I may be a little too friendly with him, like good buddies or something. I need to watch myself. Like you said Job, I will pay more attention to myself and my things to protect myself and S. H is in major self absorbed overdrive right now.

Thank you for letting me get it out. I notice I can work myself through these downs quicker and easier. Time to enjoy the moment!