KGirl - letting the past go

[labug]

Give him your bottom line, don't figure out how he needs to do it.

You've got yourself twisted around the axle with needing to nknow the why of his leaving. Is there and answer that will make you feel less pain? Think about that, what would make this OK.

I think closure is highly overrated. There are many things in life for which there is no "closure", no, "now I know why this happened so I'm OK with it." My S22 has serious OCD, OCD that interferes with his life in a big way daily. Initially I did get caught up in the why but I soon figured out that it didn't matter. This is the son I had and I needed to start from that place and figure out the next step and the next and the next.

Life is uncertain. Every minute of every day is uncertain. We can learn to accept and live with that uncertainty, or we can rail against it, be the victim. Wanting to fix the past keep us stuck there, missing the good things that might be right in front of us.

I've done both. There is pain but also much joy in learning to live life as it happens.