Complex #5 - progress and throwbacks

[Complex]

Thanks guys. I'll try hard. Woke up with the urge to vomit. I didn't yet.
I feel very lightheaded. Probably should go see a doctor.

I just don't understand how she, or ANY person could do this to me. I haven't done anything very bad or so. I don't deserve this, not even close. All I'm asking for is she treating me with respect. That's all. But instead she keeps spitting on me. Over and over again.

There were actually two discussions. The one bf she left for her dads (he wasn't home) and after she came back, that's where it got a little out of line. Not as bad as it used to, but to her probably worse than ever.
Not saying I want a divorce battle, just saying if she continues to communicate with me like this, it's not going to be a friendly one. I will be the best I can, while she in her state of mind will just be mad and/or as cold as ice.
Sure she now will really tell her family. It'll be a huge blow up. Many ppl have no idea yet and they see us as great people, a great couple, they will be devastated. For many of then it'll be out of the blue.

Well. All I can do is become a man only a fool would leave. Right now that seems like a tough challenge, lot of discipline. Hopefully the meds will work at some point. And if wife wants to be a fool in the end. So be it.
I told her I was willing to work through our issues. No matter of the outcome, but together, and in peace, so we know we have done our duty. That I don't want to go the path of frustration, grief and anger. Life is too valuable and we should treat each other with the respect we deserve. But she is choosing to hate me, to spit on our marriage, validating every little thing to leave as fast as possible.
That is her choice. It's not how I want this to end. But I can't control it. Only myself. I'm no longer playing this game, I don't want to but she's sucking me in every single time. Like she wants me to show her that I'm not good for her....and she almost always gets me there. It's ugly how she does that...and then she tells me on top that I'm the only one who can control myself...after she poked and poked and poked and spit on me. I don't know if she knows what she's doing. But I am no longer respecting how dirty she is fighting with me. She needs to stop, get help for better communication. The way she discusses things with me right now, I cannot cooperate. That'll be my main term for the D.
Her mind must be a mess too tho. She's extremely unhappy and stressed right now, and I am the single reason for it in her eyes. How did it even get that far?
What's going on in a persons mind like hers?
Detaching from her should be fairly easy in the state that she is right now. Bc her behaviour is absolutely unacceptable. I don't want to associate with this crap at all. I deserve a better woman, a better marriage, a better life. And she would 100% aggree with that.