This need not be the end.

[Barry]

This post is not meant to "more of the same" with me moping about my sitch but I need to vent a bit.
I've noticed that I'm not getting any responses any more?

As much as I'm trying to remain upbeat and want to DB this M, ultimatly I think my chances are very low that we can R.
My demeanor is all a facade right now. As much as I know I need to get out and GAL for my own benefit, my heart just isn't in it so it's all forced at the moment. The truth is, the only life I want is the one that's unattainable without me becoming something I don't want to be.

How do you decide what to do there??
Be someone you're not - but live the life you want, or be who you are and give up on the life you want??

I'm reading NMMNG, and yes, I am one in so many ways.

I feel lonely because I AM completly alone in how I feel about this sitch. W is just carrying on with her life, it's like I (and the last 22 years) mean nothing to her now. It's not an act either. She says she cares about what happens to me but the love is gone.

My kids either don't want to discuss it at all or seem like they side with W in that "this is all for the best". I can't "use" them to try and get through to her anyway.

All of my in-laws have distanced themselves from me and won't respond to any text messages or calls.

Any of our mutual friends are now HER friends and avoid me like the plague. I know that this is partly because they don't want to get involved but it pains me to know that W has this huge support network of people who are telling her that she "has to do what's right for her", and that they'll "support her no matter what" etc. Of course they will, they are her family and friends but all they want to see is an end to this as quickly as possible so that they can feel better about it.

My W is being "propped up" by so many people in her decision and not one of them really cares about me or sees D as a bad thing.
What I need is more friends and allies!!