Complex #5 - progress and throwbacks

[Ontheup]

Hey Complex

Not sure what i can say here to help but ill try. Its seem you are really struggling to detach yourself from thinking about what your wife is doing all the time. You have to stop that. You have to stop or you will make yourself ill.
Now im not on any meds so i dont what affect they have on you so cant really comment. Is there no way you can just get away for at least a few days? Friends, family back to Germany? Having people around you who will support you will really help. I talk to my Dad, mum and friends at work. They're all no doubt sick of me going on but it is good to get it out.
At the minute you are just projecting your anger onto her and accusing her of doing things that you arent sure about. Even if you are sure, SAY NOTHING. she doesnt want to hear it and certainly not from you. The more you try to reason or calm her down the more upset she will become.
You have to admit to yourself that the marriage you had is over. You have to move on with your life. If she wants to work it out then she will but right now seems pretty clear she doesnt and no amount of begging,pleading getting angry or any other needy behaviour is going to change that.
Why would you want a messy divorce? fighting her in a divorce wont help anything. Im not saying you give in to all her demands and dont get what you are fairly entitled to but why woud you want a war?
She is at where she is at for her own reasons. You have to accept that. If she wants to reconcile she will if she doesnt she wont. you cant force her.
Be the better man. The man ony a fool would leaave as 25 says. At the moment it doesnt come across like that. you are coming across as desperate.

Its tough. I know.
Take some small mercy from this and be thankful there are no children involved. At some point over the next week i have got to tell my D8 that her life as she knows it will never be the same again.
Take control of your own life. At the moment it seems your energy is being wasted by trying to take control of your wifes.

come on you can do this!