Ganb8te 5 - Escaping the abyss

[gan]

Thanks, Mozza for stopping by.

Your wording of option A (abyss) makes it sound like you are leaning against it. To me, it is your main DB option. You're looking in the oven constantly wondering if the cake is cooked. It takes time.

Actually (A) is my default mode. I know it is the main DB option - I've practiced it pretty solidly for 8 months now. In my case though it translates as pitch black NC, hence revisiting whether this is the best approach with H. I wonder sometimes if I applied that as a one size fits all when in hindsight it is not.

According to DB, your assurances to him that you wouldn't date were probably not helpful, giving him plenty of space to safely experience on his side.

Yeah, I know. This was pre-DB. At that time the only info I found was on managed separations (set time frame, rules on dating etc). Most resources said no to dating.

Dating does not mean sleeping with someone. It means having coffee or a meal with someone new, with a bit of electricity in the air.

Oh I don't know. Maybe I'll give a few ONS a go. That would be a total 180 for me
I think I would be ok at this stage having a coffee with someone who crossed my path but I'm not included to sign up on a dating site just yet.

Sorry, I don't know your sitch all that well, but I hope this can help you reflect on your situation. If you follow my sitch, it is more or less where I am, except that the kids keep us in daily contact.

Yep, I do, and I see some similarities. Biggest difference though - and it is a big one - is the daily contact vs 2-3 months no contact.