KGirl - letting the past go

[Mozza]

I'm very sorry you got such a disappointing answer. It must be so frustrating — in fact, it shows in your reaction. I'm not surprised however. Here's what I had written after you sent the question.

Oh well, why not. Let us know what he replies. Vets, especially 25yearsmlc, tell us not to dwell too much on the whys. To me, it's like asking an acquaintance why s/he is not in love with us. It's a feeling, it comes and goes and when it's not there, it's hard to understand what happened. Also keep in mind that no one has the same references and criteria as you, so his explanations, even if sincere and accurate, could very well not make sense to you.

There is no satisfactory answer out there. He doesn't know because we don't know exactly how we fall in and out of love. "It the way you turned your head when I called your name" sang Edwyn Collins in a song that no one but me remembers. Our hearts jump up and down, often without a warning. I think he gave you as good answers as you'll get, regarding his curiosity for other people. It probably doesn't make sense to you, but you're not him. I don't know much about him, but it sounds like his highest priority in life is to sleep around (sorry). It doesn't make sense to me either. I'm really not sure he's going to be that successful at it or very satisfied, but whatever.

I struggle a lot also in understanding why my WAW left me. I was doing so many things right. But life is not science, people are not machines and they make silly decisions. We expose ourselves to them and no amount of being a nice person will shield us from the consequences. Sh!t happens. How sad to think that such tragedy can come out of it. I'm really sorry for you and wish I could give you a hug.

I fully support the spirit of your message regarding the house equity! I completely agree that he simply deals with the consequences of his choices. That's what I told my WAW when she complained about the weather, lack of friends, difficult job, etc. Come on: he's testing your limits, asking you to accommodate him after all he's done to you. No way. Hopefully, others can help you with the wording because I'd send it as is.