KGirl - letting the past go

[KGirl]

OK, I do have a logistical thing I could use some help with.

STBX said he wanted to talk more about the house and paying me my equity. He only has about half of it right now, and wants to work out a payment plan, because he doesn't want to take money out of his retirement accounts (HA! I only have a pension where you can't take money out, I never opened a retirement account because I was counting on him saving more! Go figure.). Anyways, here is what I FEEL like saying to that:

"H, you bought a house with me and then a year later decided to leave me - unfortunately there are some tough consequences for that. I had to move out of the house, buy a car, and lost my pet, all without wanting to do all of those things. You said you were truly sorry about this and wish it didn't end up like this - if that is actually the case, you can show that to me by making this as easy for me as possible and paying me the money as quickly as possible so I can pay off the new debts I had to accrue, not to mention offset the lower standard of living I now have. It may not be ideal, but that is the outcome of the choice you made."

So, how do I reword that to be nicer but still firm? I really do feel like if he wants to show he is sorry, he would either take the hit on his retirement accounts or take out a home equity loan. I'd be willing to do like 4-5 months of payments but I'm really not interested in doing any longer than that. He does have money in his retirement accounts but I am not sure if he has enough he can take out that's penalty-free or not (do I ask how much he can take out penalty-free? What if he lies?)