21 Years - Walkaway Wife - Please Help!

[25yearsmlc]

"Are walkaway wives generally having midlife crises? Any thoughts on that?"

No not all are MLC. There is usually a trigger that sets off an MLC. Death, getting old, new job, etc.

If a WAS was constantly criticized in their marriage, for example, it's not an MLC. It's just a lousy marriage.

Please take this 2 x 4 in the spirit in which it is sent, which is the hope I can wake you up.

I think maybe she's having a break down after the enormity of her situation hit her. AND OR Maybe she needs some space to herself, since she has been a single mom the whole time you were gone, with humiliating social aspects to the situation that did not bother you, but bothered her,

( I bet your kids were not thrilled with the media coverage either. The way you dismissed it in your post b/c it was not important to you, troubles me)

AND she faced huge financial troubles not of her making

AND is now working 80 hours a week....

gee, maybe that's^^ not easy... If I were you, I would want to ease her burdens and make her life easier. NO, I don't think an MLC makes any sense here.

MLCs are changes in a spouse - that are NOT explainable by external factors.

In your situation, I'd say there are several huge factors that could explain why she feels different about the marriage than you.

I think it's telling that you'd avoid looking at what seems so obvious, and would rather "blame" or label her as the one with some "MLC" issues.

SIGH...

You said you had a coaching session. I'm guessing your DB coach had useful advice. Why not share some of your 180s and goals and GAL here?

Put your energy into DBing more, and not so much labeling her.

Besides, your course of action would remain the same anyhow, so regardless of your thoughts on what is going on in her life,

you have your own path to walk.

How is that going?