Well, W is too clever by half. I forgot to delete search history on one computer, so she found this thread and read it all while I was away. We had a good talk and examined some of the bad dynamics in our relationship from both sides. We're a work in progress, and DB will be playing a role, but it will have to be an explicit one practiced by both of us while we're working together on the M. Thank you all for your advice and encouragement.
I sincerely DO hope that W will be transparent and honest with you about her intentions and motivations. No more placating chit.
You might want to look at any books by Gottman. He's gold has he's done a lot of research into marriages and what makes them work.
To get you started, you would want to get the Five Love Languages book by Chapman.
All the best to you two as you begin rebuilding your crappy M to the one that you both have always dreamed of.
