I'm really sorry to hear about what had happened. It is in the past and I like your new attitude about focusing on the future.
I really like how you have identified things you want to work on about yourself. Coincidentally, it seems to me these are all things that contribute to your R with Dustin. I agree with everyone here that focusing on these issues while detaching from Dustin will only be beneficialy to you and your R with him in the long term.
It is a long and difficult road to get there but ultimately it will be best for the both of you, it seems you know that too otherwise you wouldn't have identified them. It is definitely scary to feel that you have backtracked and are back to where you were before but that is impossible, you have grown since then.
Take the time to focus on yourself and make the changes you want and need to make for yourself. He obviously still cares for you and the little guy, you will always have that connection and by that will always have the possibility of mending this. Someone suggested to let him have his cave time, this is so important for men especially when confronted with something emotional.
