The Owl and the Pussycat

[sage]

Myrrh --

You don't suck at DB'ing -- you're doing what many of us do and have done -- reverting to old behaviors when we get stuck in a corner -- You had a very emotional weekend that brought up a bunch of stuff -- you both got back to OLD stuff -- ways of thinking and reacting to each other -- NO BLAME it just seems that that's the way it is. We know it's a cycle, a dance -- we're just gonna figure out how to get you to change your steps right now.

and says that he just doesn't want to see me, or be around me.

I know, know, know from the bottom of my heart how hard it is to hear this and "respect" his wishes but it seems to me that this is key...but you know that, right?

I told him I didn't want to sign the two-year waiver (that basically would say he never moved back in and we had been separated since September) and he got really angry.

I don't know how this came up but STOP talking about it. Don't bring it up and if he does tell him that you're focused on XYZ and will get to that topic...blah, blah, blah.

I don't know if this applies to you at all but let me throw it out there...I know that I would be thinking that I have to fix EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW -- apartment, conveying to h about D, C, all that stuff. Guess what? YOU DON'T.

Doing nothing about a particular area or topic is a perfectly acceptable DB method -- particularly if it's a 180 for you.

I feel like I may be throwing too much info at your right now...especially when it's stuff you already know...I just really think that if you can back off you can get back on track.

Sage