Ganb8te 5 - Escaping the abyss

[Mozza]

Your wording of option A (abyss) makes it sound like you are leaning against it. To me, it is your main DB option.

You're looking in the oven constantly wondering if the cake is cooked. It takes time. A man on these boards is DBing his second W, but after the 1st one left him, they were completely NC for six months until she showed up at his workplace with a gift hoping for R (he turned her down).

I also think you should consider dating. According to DB, your assurances to him that you wouldn't date were probably not helpful, giving him plenty of space to safely experience on his side. Dating does not mean sleeping with someone. It means having coffee or a meal with someone new, with a bit of electricity in the air. A very tiny minority of dates end up in bed or in relationships, so you're not mean or deceitful to anyone when you go on a date without the intention of marrying him. Also, you might be surprised. It can be a way to assess your H better as a potential partner by comparing him.

Sorry, I don't know your sitch all that well, but I hope this can help you reflect on your situation. If you follow my sitch, it is more or less where I am, except that the kids keep us in daily contact. My WAW left me five months ago, she's with OM and giving me no sign of wanting to R. Whatever. I do my own thing, I GAL to keep my hurt in check, and I start flirting with women.