Oh, Susana! (3)

[susana4]

Thanks Complex and Cadet for the reminders, it's good to keep in mind the basics (no one thing will make or break it, do what works, mirroring, detaching and staying calm).

My game plan for today:
-Detach, detach, detach
-No expectations (really need to manage this right now)
-Expect pullback
-PMA!!!

I don't have any GAL planned for today, I was going to spend the night in and cook because the rest of the week I'm out and I want to relax.

Part of me is tempted to make a GAL plan just because I wonder if I need to pull back a little right now, but OTOH I don't want to modify my plans because of H. I'm just living my life!

What's worked? Just making some notes for myself, it's hard to say exactly what or a combination, but what I've been doing...
-Boatloads of PMA
-Lots of laughter
-NO criticisms
-Not making conversation to fill silence
-Active listening + validation and a whole lotta asking about him and listening without interruption
-AOS & WOA - not sure what his LL is so I've been doing a bit of both. Just light stuff - aiming for 1 genuine compliment/day plus a small AOS (e.g. making him a cup of coffee, folding laundry)
-Inviting him for some lighthearted activities, e.g. geocaching, Maze
-Not giving any advice, just listening
-Not being reactive, avoiding arguments