The thread in SI by etaoin was an excellent read. Thx so much for the recommendation. I have wondered so many times what was going through WAWs head. I have had my own theories and have heard ideas from wise family/friends and even from my IC. But I could never be sure. It is so much more credible coming directly from a WAS. It is like etaoin said, if you want advice on how to quit smoking, you don't go to a smoker or non-smoker. You go to an ex-smoker.
The thread gave me a lot of insight and I see my W in a totally different, pretty pathetic, light. Strangely, I was pretty in awe of Ws total transformation even though it was a terribly negative one. However, behind the new clothing (e.g. thongs, fishnet stockings), new music (rap? she's a Jewish momma, for pete's sake!!), long wigs, and extra make-up - i.e. without the mystique - she is a vulnerable, self-absorbed, delusional, insecure individual. I was worried that she had all the control, but in truth, WAW is just as out-of-control as I have been feeling. Etaoin also demystifies the OM. I can stop comparing. Whatever she sees in him is an extension of her own delusions. Lastly, the bit about cheerleaders was totally new to me. Boy, does my W have a lot of cheerleaders. I need to detach from them and their actions too.
Originally Posted By: Ontheup
Our emotions. That's all it is, just natural human behaviour to see something we are losing and want it back desperately. I think with us men as well a lot of it has to do with our ego. I know it does with me.
So true! Sandi2 told me as much 2 months ago. My ears are still ringing. But seriously, Sandi, thanks again for the much needed 2x4.
The posts by etaoin also offer me a glimmer of hope that she may snap out of it one day. IF it happens, it will be too late to save my M, but I will always feel vindicated that I did everything I could to save my M and that I took the high road - starting with respecting myself. Truthfully, I can't ever see us together again. She would have to do a lot of hard work, and I frankly don't think she is capable.
I must drop the rope as it is burning my hands. I will call the mediator tomorrow.
