May life be;

[jim0987]

Hi Gg,

its OK to feel like old for a little bit. Its also OK to give ourselves a break, especially when getting over flu. As long as we don't wallow.

And bits not working like they should happens to all people at all ages.

I always get the impression you really push yourself to keep busy and then are hard on yourself about it. I do wonder if your still holding on to your H's criticism too much. Trying and failing is much better than not trying in the first place.

Gg you have nothing to prove, you're great exactly as you want to be

[Ggrass]

In a way yes, the spew stbxh controlled me with for years, it comes out from time to time on a loop.

Stbxh really did a good job on both me and s17, I'm pretty sure we both hear the loop come to the surface.

I think it's getting better, but it's not gone yet. No where near, but often I can stop it and question it.

Not always, but then life's about slow channges



. Starsky said I was an overnight success after 18months !

Was he? Did s wake up and suddlenly he was a very different bloke?

Yes and no, he was doing some works before than inch by inch hardly showing each day anything.

Then bam, it comes together and things get very different.

Yes, I'm moving, no world record breaking pace.

It's slow and given the sorts of abuses stbxh, indulged in it's going to take quite a while. To rebuild, stbxh xw has taken years, and really I don't she will ever be there.

I am tougher I was streets ahead of her in growth. I knew/know more about personal groth than she will ever. She has no interest.

But I will come out better. Things will be better and I'm gunna make it that way.
Xh expected me to mother him and look after him as one would a child.

I need to work things out, what I can do? What I need to pay to have done?
Find my creative solution gg who just never said you know what I cant.
It might take longer it might be harder but it's just a work in progress.

Did I db given the sitch, um nope, but i didn't have all the facts. Have I leant stuff you bet.
I watch people doings more than I weight their words.


The link of the ow, was done by what people did, not by anything they said. Nothig has been said, but action no reply avoiding suggests I don't know the full story and are unlikely to.

Same watch those that talk big and act small, it's just out there like a big flag, and later you have drama with those people.
It's just about being more switched on, you don't need to act on things but just note them.

I think I'm more tuned in. I could see stuff before, but more so now. Before it took me ages to see people's crapola. Now I'm watching and noting.

[Vanilla]

Gg

Just think when you get to my very very very old age, how awesome you would be if you continued to BB and grow.

V is feeling younger every day and wishes she had known some of this stuff years ago.

This was very first 'real' personal development book before that it was all about management and work but this one was about me. I downloaded it after hearing the author talk about it on the radio. She was very modest and grounded.

It is not as focus as DB and not at its core about personal relationships. I cut the program from 12 months to 12 weeks. A little slow for V and more health orientated than anything else. physical rather than mental. But it kick started me thinking about looking after myself and my health.

http://www.hayhouse.com/the-art-of-extreme-self-care-3

V

[Ggrass]

That a good looking book vanilla.

Might have to look at buying it. I guess bing sick and have so much change around me now, vid was like a mental anniversary.

The big bd was 2/2 It took a couple of weeks to realise it was real. They flew by in a blur, till vd.

There will be a downside for cruising her program down vanilla. It takes 3 weeks to start a habbit, months to consolidate any change you make.


When tired sick and unwell, we revert and back slide. I know yesterday at work I was very flat, there was no bouncy me, greeting people, was tough and while not back at the whole mute place it was a back slide.


The wanting to slide by under the radar without notice. Was what started the mute phase.
It helped keep the peace, but I don't think it did anything to help ultimately with the r.


There might be good news on the Internet front too.

[edz]

morning (well, here) Gg

How are you feeling today, any better?

[Sotto]

Thanks for the Hayhouse link. The site is interesting (apart from the recommended book) with details of self improvement conferences and events too...

[Ggrass]

Seems things are changing, funny about that.life has a habbit of moving on weather yiur want it to or not.

Went to dinner and seems lst weeks lucky tickets earnt me another pize! Awesome.
Interstate best bought a gift, the best kind, shoes. She has leg drama, and now cannot wear even small heels. So gg shoe collection expanded by another 2 Pair.

Going out for the day tomorrow, with her and might catch some of her political mates. Who knows. she calls it social engineering, she wants me to try to take on the damn attorney General again as a bf material!

Gg faints! It's all to much.

Oh and friend male from a million years ago was at pub again, I got bailed up about being out and about. Now said friend is male always been a single dude. Was a bf of one our social group about 25 years ago, now the fact he thinks it's odd I would even go out, strikes me as weird. He was a part of our 18-20's often had dinner as a group, often went out socialising drunk till the wee hours and got into much petty strife.

That whole comment is just super weird from him. Yes I know I havent been out for a few years in places he would see me, but we move in the same town. He knows I ain't dead and we are friends. In the days we were friends the bloke used to drop in for coffee most days. I would consider I knew the bloke exceptionally well. He is however one of my friend that dropped of when stbxh came along. We were not that close in those day as s17 was only 4. Busy mum with small child makes friends hard.

I did fill in my second chance tickets, for next week and now need to find company to go with.

[Vanilla]

Thanks for the Hayhouse link. The site is interesting (apart from the recommended book) with details of self improvement conferences and events too...

I have shown interest in a women's only course in March but as they do not have enough participants they are not running it. Would have clashed with my current 12 boot camp program anyway.

Not sure I believe in angels, apart from DB ones. So this is no where near as grounded as DB. But I love the practical books, 12 steps to change your life etc. with tasks to do, count me in. Measure and count things, you got me hooked.

Gg is right though takes a while to build a new habit, anyone down the DB self development path will already have some basics though so it is the wonderful concept that whilst troubled we need to look after ourselves extremely carefully.

I was considering why some people grow through trauma and others wimp along in victim hood. There is a very interesting Ted talk by Jane Mcgonigal on games which had me riveted, very funky outlook on life and sassy. my kind of lady and wears clothes similar to mine (when I was slim). Very Stevie Nicks. I picked the talk at random because of the gal in her name! But it is now a firm favourite of Vs.

https://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal...ife?language=en

She has an identical twin sister called Kelly too.

V

[edz]

Morning Gg,

wow all go in your neck of the woods at the moment then. Next thing we know we'll see you on the news at a formal gala (mind you you'll need to tip us off first so we know who to look for )

[Ggrass]

Well exciting touristy type day!

Went to the mint and friends daughter 10 was facinated. I guess a gold plated $100 and $50 notes is not something you see every day! Did not ask s17 to go, previously I would chase him then he would blow me off.

This time I sent pics of our trip. Just chatted back and forth by text. Nice. Did other touristy things had a nice dinner at a club.

I pretty sure I told you guys i bought a really nice dress a few weeks ago, but it needed strapless bra, so today I bought a bra that cost almost as much as the national debt.

Well 6x the cost if said dress! Faints.

Omg there was excitement in the trip, I saw rhc in town as we drove down the street, the trailer trash part of me forgot to wind the window down and heckle him! Damn.
Bestie wanted to lap the block and go back for a perve, didn't really have time.

And yes edzs it's past 11! Again, this goal if getting to beds really tough, I seem to fail. It's just not working for me. Rolls eyes.