New here, and could use some advice

[ginger]

Hi,
I'm newly separated and have been reading DR. My husband has left me because he felt neglected, like he wasn't wanted, and that I didn't love him as much as he loved me. I'm desperate to show him this isn't true and to make changes. It's true that I let the stresses of life, work, and kids get in the way of putting him first and I'm so regretful of that. My question is this: will the strategies in DR, like not saying "I love you," and acting nonchalant, work for me, given that the whole problem was that I wasn't attentive enough to his needs for affection and intimacy? He's reluctant to stay with me because he doesn't believe I'll change. He feels I'm just trying to save the relationship for security, familiarity, or whatever. I truly love my husband and want to save my marriage. I'm nervous that DR strategies will just confirm his sense that I don't care. That said, I don't want to appear needy, either. I'd love any advice you guys might have. Thank you!