The Owl and the Pussycat

[Lyrael]

Well, I survived today. And no calls since the "we are leaving now" one. He said I could leave a message at home telling him I got to my parents' safely, but I didn't end up doing that...it was more of an "if you want" than a "please do."

My anger is at the root of the problem, and on Monday I am going to contact Dove to see if they have any suggestions for me. But not to get Dustin back, just to prevent violence like this ever happening again between me and someone else, Dustin included.

I am giving myself this week to regroup, and then I am going to look for an apartment. I think asking Dustin if I could come home after a week will only make him angry, so I think it's time to start building a life for myself while I heal. I'm not going to file, but I am going to move forward with my life - filing taxes, getting enrolled in school for the fall, etc. I was putting S to sleep and holding him tonight, and for the first time I was able to think of having my own apartment without pain. I was actually thinking about how I would arrange it.

At this point, I feel like I could stand on my head naked and spin in the middle of his shop floor and Dustin wouldn't notice or care. So I guess that just leaves me. I have a lot of work to do on myself.

I love all of you - thank you for the support and unconditional love!
Hugs,
Myrrh