Is there anyone who could keep the kids a while? If so, beat her to the punch and YOU get dressed up to go out. If that's not possible, then find something fun to do with the boys. Never give the impression you are playing the role of a victim. You are not a victim who gets to watch her dress up for work! Seriously, don't pay any attention to her getting ready. What can you do that will be fun for the kids, where all three of you are having a blast when she leaves out.
Then don't make a big thing over her leaving. No hugs, kisses, ILY's, .....nothing more than, "Okay, see ya later".
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
