Detaching and Gal are the essence of DB. We all say and feel the same thing when that bomb drops. We would do anything to have that person back. Don't think I've seen a single thread where they just go " oh right go on then leave". If and when you can look at it rationally why do you want that person back? If someone not involved looked at it they would say WAS has lied, cheated, manipulated, bullied, humiliated,emasculated and basically lost all respect for you (us). they are addicts, and will do anything to get that fix. So why do we want them back? You wouldn't want a friend like that. Our emotions. That's all it is, just natural human behaviour to see something we are losing and want it back desperately. I think with us men as well a lot of it has to do with our ego. I know it does with me. Do I still sit here thinking I want my wife back? of course I do. Do I get moments of clarity and think why the hell do I want her back when she has sh!t all over me for so long? Yes. I will be detaching permanently as i'm moving out. I think only then months or more down the road will I know whether i still want to be with this person. I certainly wouldn't want to be with her the way she is and she wouldn't want to be with me the way I have been for the last x years either. We pushed each other away for years to get to this point it isn't going to get resolved over night.
I read a great but difficult article over at surviving infidelity, wayward section by etaoin. all about his affair. very insightful to how it started, progressed, continued and ended. Its what we already know. Its a fantasy, and the only time it stops is when the fantasy where's off and you start seeing that person warts and all. basically reality kicks in and a lot of the time they think WTF have I done.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
