Maybell XXIX

[Ggrass]

Mayb, I get that feeing l like stbxh wasnt engaged.

I look back and see so many times he just wasn't engaged, stbxh talked big acted small. I often complained his words and actions were not aligned.

It was his complaint about me, but I feel I did talk commitment I did say where I was and what I was up to day to day. I think part of that was spew, friends often used to see him in places he just never said he was, nor would I expect him to be.

His reason always was they were mistaken, he wasn't there. Once or twice I spring him eating lunch alone out in a local cafe. By the attitude of the cafe it was regular according to stbxh it was a never.

Stbxh stalked my car, Internet places, I think emails. phone.

The phone and email came to light when he made a big deal of trying to crack my passwords, when s17 was using devices without permission. He then started making a bigger deal of my "cheating" which I wasn't but he was.
I did say to stbxh, I'm not cheating unless you have evidence please stop hassling me. He kept on hassling me, then I got sus and started asking him who are you cheating with?
Cheaters accuse, which was how he was behaving.

As I was told by a bloke yesterday, it's very easy to have 20/20 hind sight.
Seeing what I see now really does make better sense in hind sight.

Yes looking at what happened and how it went down can help you to be more aware next time. Helps you take action before things end up in flames.

Will you want to be with a man like stbxh, who didn't engage?
It helps you to know what you want. Where your bounderies lie.

I want someone who is a hell yes person.
Not a hell yes, then later resent you.
Later expect pay back for more than they gave.
Later hold you accountable for any failure they make.