the positives journal is a great idea! i think you are right in giving them out slowly and when the time is appropriate. be careful not to sound condescending, my W has accused me of that sometimes.
from a purely male perspective, the only one i know unfortunately, i have a lot of issues feeling unappreciated for things i do, especially things i do for her or for us that she may not have recognized before. i think this really goes back to 5LLs as we were chatting about before. i think if my W read the book, she would understand a lot of the ways i was trying to show love for her, and after i read the book i understood a lot of the ways she was trying to show love for me. i really think it is often misinterpetaion and miscommunication, as is a lot of things.
his i feel like crap comment is often how i would feel when she would talk about her feelings. often i felt she was complaining that i wasn't good enough or i wasn't doing enough or i wasn't a good provider or whatever. a lot of this has to do with my own insecurities.
again with communication, i would like to believe if there was the proper preface before these statements and in the proper context (depending on how he likes to communicate, i will use me as an example). if she were to ask Seattle, do you have time right now to talk? i would then recognize it is somtihing important. Seattle, i want to say somthing that i don't want you to take offense to, it is not a criticism of you but simply how i feel right now. i would like your opinion and input on how to best address these feelings i have. this might be too formal for him, but it is how i would communicate. speak his language. just some thoughts.
