So in 2 days it will be 3 weeks. She's done nothing I can't live like this anymore. She doesn't want to work on or save the relationship she's just fine in this limbo. I can't stand it. I'm about ready to pre-empt her and get this over with. I think I've had enough of her cold heart. No wonder I've been so angry she's miserable and trying to make me that way too.
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
She says she will never change her mind. She doesn't think change is possible and she doesn't think anything can get better. We've discussed it a few times and she's adament. I know a few weeks isn't very long but we will be living in the house together for a while I just need to figure out if I sit and wait for her to do something or take action. I don't want to force anything but today was incredibly difficult. Part of me thinks by giving her what she wants she will have to deal with the reality of that situation and maybe try to reconcile after some pain. But the flip side to that is it never happens. It's all too much for me to take and I have no control over the outcome of if I sit by and watch. This is a very difficult and complex situation.
Last edited by phunguy; 02/15/1502:53 AM.
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
Remember - she is speaking in absolutes right now. (she will never change her mind. Has she changed her mind before - I'm sure she has).
Work on yourself and don't believe all of that. If she sees and believes the changes you make in yourself - to really improve yourself (and you know there is something) she may change this thought process.
You can only control yourself. Work on yourself. Improve yourself - for yourself. Take that action. That is most important.
Just calm down and know that nothing will happen over night.
I know it is difficult - I have been/am there too.
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
Thanks UTurn, it's tough. I guess it's selfish for me to want things to be OK. But I have to accept things as they are. I'm working through so many emotions it's difficult and I will keep bettering myself. I'm going to see Psych next week alone and with wife(not about marriage ) according to her about our son. It's hard to understand how she can compartmentalise all of these things happening in our lives. I suppose it's so she can stay in her guilt free cocoon that she seems to have built. For me it's pure anguish and mentally exhausting. I have to be better at working this plan, particulaly no R talk, I get sucked into thinking I can talk her into changing her mind at this point I just need to accept it and take care of me and let the other stuff just happen around me. Much easier said than done!
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
) according to her about our son. It's hard to understand how she can compartmentalise all of these things happening in our lives. I suppose it's so she can stay in her guilt free cocoon that she seems to have built. For me it's pure anguish and mentally exhausting. I have to be better at working this plan, particulaly no R talk, I get sucked into thinking I can talk her into changing her mind at this point I just need to accept it and take care of me and let the other stuff just happen around me. Much easier said than done!