25yrs you are amazing, this last post is exactly what I needed. I really back tracked on DBing in the last week.
Also thanks for clarifying the cooking of meals and such.
Jbird
M 53 W 44 D25 D20 S22 PA 10/95 BD abt 2k EA BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05 DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005 XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005 Remarried 12/28/07 BD 12/18/14 Sep living together
I would agree with what 25yrs said. Before I moved out I still shopped and if I cooked a meal I made enough for all of us. I did not go out of my way to do things for my ex as I had before. It was more a matter of we are eating there is more there if you want some.
I think once you start learning more about codependent behavior you will become more enlightened.
Keep the GAL list going.....life does not have to be this hard. Make time for fun!
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Listen to 25, what she is saying is spot on. Do not bother yourself at all with OM. He is beneath you and not worth it.
Took me too long to realize the exact things 25 is telling you. You can do it though because it is in you. Let it out. Be that person that you know you can be.
Keep at it.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
I would agree with what 25yrs said. Before I moved out I still shopped and if I cooked a meal I made enough for all of us. I did not go out of my way to do things for my ex as I had before. It was more a matter of we are eating there is more there if you want some.
I think once you start learning more about codependent behavior you will become more enlightened.
Keep the GAL list going.....life does not have to be this hard. Make time for fun!
Whats the difference between codependant and helping each other out?
My wife has a SNS 25 from first marriage. She used to see him all the time, he is in a house 20 minutes from our home. Since she moved I bet she hasn't seen him 4 time. It is like I don't even know her anymore. She was a wonderful mom, now she has decided only her needs matter. She has said to me, "I know that seems selfish" when I pointed out how leaving hurt the kids. That was before I read DB..
H49 W48 She left 12/25/2013
SS26 SS 24 D20 S19 D 18
Wife moved out left 17, 18 an 19 yr olds at home when I was incarcerated for tax evasion to take a job and live 4 hours away.
People in crisis do not behave rationally. Do not true to apply logic to your wife's actions. If she ever comes out of hee crisis as a better person, it will be her challenge to fix the mess tat SHE made. No skin off your back.
Be there for the kids. They need to see they still have one sane parent for now. You will model to them how to deal with marital issues with grace and class.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
Thank you all for chiming in on my thread. I appreciate your advice and sharing your experiences with me.
Karma, I think I was reading your posts on detachment when you posted the recommendation for me to read them. They cleared up some confusion I had about detachment. Your timing was perfect!
Jbird
M 53 W 44 D25 D20 S22 PA 10/95 BD abt 2k EA BD 9/2004 PA D'd 1/05/05 DB'd 9/2004-08 PA ends 02/2005 XW rehab 03/2005 piecing until OM3 June?/2005 Remarried 12/28/07 BD 12/18/14 Sep living together
Tough day... Just because it is Valentine's day. I miss her so much. Have to hang tough. I did text her today and told her "I know how hard you've worked to get where you are (she has worked incredibly hard) today. I admire and respect you for it. I wish you the best and hope all your seatings are sold out! I hope you are having a great day. (I know she is working her ass off today) Happy Valentine's Day"
H49 W48 She left 12/25/2013
SS26 SS 24 D20 S19 D 18
Wife moved out left 17, 18 an 19 yr olds at home when I was incarcerated for tax evasion to take a job and live 4 hours away.
