The Owl and the Pussycat

[Lyrael]

PIB-
Yes, you did! Thanks - we have had rough patches already, but I think that's because of the stresses of re-establishing our routines again...we'll figure it out - I really believe that.

I completely forgot to post about the R talk we had last night. It was initiated by me, because we still hadn't discussed the infamous D papers that were hanging out on top of the PS2. I needed an answer from him - a verbal affirmation that he really wanted our marriage to be forever! I didn't get quite the emphatic response that I wanted - he admitted that sometimes he still has doubts (as do I), and we discussed some of the difficulties we have communicating - he said that whenever I throw a lot of emotion at him, his mind blanks.

He describes it to me like this:
"I am listening to you and inside my brain I hear one side saying 'Say something!!!' and the other side says 'I can't think of anything to say!' "
So apparently that is the story with the dead silences during some of our convos. When I throw a lot of "complaints" or problems his way, he starts to feel like there is no way he will ever be able to please me or be what I need him to be. He gets really overwhelmed with everything I throw at him, basically.

At one point in the conversation I said something like "I just want to be married to someone who is really committed to me."
He was quiet for a second when I said that, and then he said "when you said that, all I heard was 'I want to be married to somebody who's not crap.' I hear that in a lot of the things you say."

WOW - he has never shared that much with me about his inner workings...it took some prodding, and some real work to keep myself under control, and we still misunderstood some things, but I would call it a successful R talk. It gave me some things to work with, at least. Regarding the D papers, he suggested I shred them and get rid of the icon on my desktop. I said I see the big D as an escape hatch sometimes (an "in case of emergency" type thing) and he said "well, then shut it!"

Then we did some snuggling and drifted off to sleep. Lemme know what you guys think!
Hugs,
Myrrh