With your XH make it a pretend world act like you have moved on like he only matters as a father to your kids.
You will get thru this.
GAL as much as possible
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Try to think of him as the sob neighbor who allows his dog to do his business on your flowers or at your front door.
Hah... I can totally relate. I actually do have this issue on my front loan, and still trying to figure out which neighbor...
Mighty, I’ve been reading your recent posts and I can see myself about in them, from 2 years ago. I just was not on this board at that time. But, oh boy, I went through the same feelings and emotions… My situation was different, but if it would be the same, I can see myself going through the same feelings as you. I can relate in so many ways… You are doing much better though. I was a complete wreck. My friends and family could probably attest to that.
Keep taking one step at a time, girl. (((((hugs)))))
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Ugh... I am so mad. Xh is totally trying to screw me with the taxes. He has made a decision about how to handle the business without discussing it with me. He mad as appt and is on his way there now. He is such an @ss hole.
He stopped in to give the kids Valentines candy and a card. He apparently texted me to let me know he was coming buy I didn't get it. I told him to stop coming to the house and that he is not welcome. He said OK.
I just can't help it. I get so mad when I see him. I mean like- really, really pi$$ed. He said he will drop off the tax stuff when he gets back.
I am just so overwhelmed. I am so angry that he makes decisions and leaves me with the crap to pick up. With everything. I am so mad about it. He said we will talk when he gets back, but I feel like he is going to tell me he is moving back in with hww. He said he knows what he is doing now, or something stupid. He is implying that he has made a decision that he is happy about. I just can't even hear it. Whatever. I just don't know how to keep control with him and all he is doing and has done.
He is so arrogant and thinks he has it all figured out with her. Well, that's how he is acting.
Before he stopped, I was upset because I just don't understand how he can be so mean. I mean... he is really so mean. He does not monster anymore- in words, but in actions. they are just so selfish.
But I can't even remember what he just said now, but something like he is not trying to hurt me, but basically, it is about them. And what they want. So I am tossed aside. It hurts. I don't understand it. He really wants to be with her. Not me. What the F is it? What is is about her? What is it about me? I am so crushed by this. You think you know someone. 20 years... and he leave me for someone who is pretty much as old as we have been together.
How could he say all those things about her, and say he had blinders on and didn't see what she was really like. And now, think she is so amazing? How does that happen?
He is so whipped by this chick. He was last year and it was obvious, and even my son said so. And now, you can see it again. WTF!
OK, he's not my husband, but I don't even know where my husband went! I don't want this dude, but I am so mad that this dude even exists! Where did my husband go? Will he ever come back?
Am I crazy? I mean... is this normal? Should I not be upset by his behavior? Should I be over this by now?
They have a friggin baby together. So I have no place for anything anymore, right? He divorced me, and I think their r is a joke, toxic, unhealthy, selfish, and a lie... but is it because I am hurt? Can they really have a good r? Am I missing something? Maybe I just don't see clearly through the anger?
I can't stand this. I just want to be over this. Now. I don't bother him or talk to him, but when he comes over or texts me, it makes me crazy. What does he want from me. I mean, I guess it's about the kids, but we went months without talking about the kids, pretty much.
He really thinks that his behavior is ok. So, what am I missing? What am I doing wrong? Why am I so angry and hurt?
Find a way to move past this..when you XXXXXXXXH comes back put on a smile, discuss the taxes, the kids if needed. IF he trys to tell you anything about HER, tell him NO thanks, it does not matter you have moved on you want to be happy and you want him to be happy..
Until you let go and move on, YOU are going to be stuck, to be hurt.
LET him totally go!!!
Get out today if you can, go window shopping, go workout, go see friends, a movie,,,something,
My s14 and I just danced to Reggae,,we both got BIG smiles on our faces the whole time. Its too bad weather wise now may not go out to eat may have to order pizza
DO you have a fav music to blast in the house
Do you pray if so, go in your room fall to your knees and ask GOD to help you thru this.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Thanks 2B. And...... I get the point with the xxxxxxxxxx... it all happened so fast, that I never have grasped the x thing. Bomb, ow, nuke, divorce, baby, all within a year. It was a whirlwind. Never a discussion or closure or anything... so I forget the xxxxxxx part sometimes. I still feel like the jilted wife. That's terrible, I know.
Yes, I pray hard all the time. Every day. Several times a day. The kids and I are supposed to leave in a little bit.
you are right. I need to keep it together when he comes back. I just want to kick his @ss.
Whatever... he is back to his old actions and it is pretty telling. (In his actions re the taxes) It was just last week he asked how I want to do this, and has made a decision without discussing it with me, even though I said I would like to know and get the ball rolling.
How do I let go? I just don't know anymore how to totally do it. I read the detachment thread, and I think for the most part, I have. But not fully. I think it's the rejection that is killing me. Why her? What is it? I just can't believe that he is starting over with a different family when he didn't even give this one any real effort. It is terrible to grasp. Blah... puke.
I know I have to let it go. I am really struggling with this. How can he be happy with that sitch?
Yes the why her and why not me... But think about this...your XH was in your life and there were good times and bad. You got to learn your own self worth..your new identity Its not going to be easy but you will get there. Dont dwell on the why..it just is.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Mighty, Your EXH is NOT a real man, not anymore. He is a selfish child who is with another selfish child. No real, worthy WOMAN would have that child-man in their life. He said it himself...THEY are only thinking about what THEY want. Neither of them care what is best for your kids (or even their own kid for that matter), what is "right", what is moral...none of that matters to him or HWW.
Real men take care of their responsibilities. They don't "cut and run" when they become "unhappy" with their lives. You deserve better M, you really do. You are holding on to hope that your old H is still in there somewhere. He's not. He's dead and gone. It is time to realize this. I know how hard it is as I have had to do this with my W. Everything I admired about her is gone. The person she has become isn't someone I would ever want in my life if I were to meet them today. Like me, you are holding onto the person he used to be. Time to let go.
I know it hurts. I mourn the loss of the great person my W used to be, the best friend I ever had. I loved her with all my heart and soul and would have done anything for her. I miss her every day. But, she is gone and I must except that and live my life accordingly. Time for you to do the same. It won't be easy (I am still working on it myself) but it just must be done for you to move on with your life. Good luck Mighty. You can do this!
