Oh, Susana! (3)

[Cadet]

I was trying to push for QT but he must have been thinking "I already did the laundry, the dishes and went and got her breakfast, I've expressed my love".

OK the only part I disagree with is he is NOT thinking.

Men dont use emotions, only logic!

[susana4]

Thanks June. How are you spending V Day? Interested to see how you find the book. I've got a long list of books to read. Good luck today.

[susana4]

I was trying to push for QT but he must have been thinking "I already did the laundry, the dishes and went and got her breakfast, I've expressed my love".

OK the only part I disagree with is he is NOT thinking.

Men dont use emotions, only logic!

Ok so what would be the logic here?
"I did the laundry, the dishes and bought breakfast - therefore I have expressed my love"
?

[Cadet]

I was trying to push for QT but he must have been thinking "I already did the laundry, the dishes and went and got her breakfast, I've expressed my love".

OK the only part I disagree with is he is NOT thinking.

Men dont use emotions, only logic!

Ok so what would be the logic here?
"I did the laundry, the dishes and bought breakfast - therefore I have expressed my love"
?

OK what I am going to say is NOT really what I would suggest just reviewing your thread as it is pursuing.

Well if he was a WOA guy then thanking him, validating his AOS would be good.
Giving him a hug and thanking him might be good too.

But you may also get rejected with that,
so proceed with caution.

DB101 = do what works 180 what doesnt.

Maybe you just sit back and do nothing with the knowledge that you now have.
Maybe that QT - doesnt bother you as much now.

What do you think?

[June315]

Funny about the book. A couple of weeks ago I meant to buy five languages of apology by the same author. I ordered it online but it came in Chinese which I cannot read. I returned it but then my DB coach mentioned 5LL so I bought it, in English this time. I just started reading but have a hard time concentrating.

V-day, I'm home with my dogs. My H went to see his daughters at his ex-wife's house. Strange, right?

[susana4]

Funny about the book. A couple of weeks ago I meant to buy five languages of apology by the same author. I ordered it online but it came in Chinese which I cannot read. I returned it but then my DB coach mentioned 5LL so I bought it, in English this time. I just started reading but have a hard time concentrating.

V-day, I'm home with my dogs. My H went to see his daughters at his ex-wife's house. Strange, right?

In Chinese?! That is funny. Hope you have a chance to get out today and do something fun, try and GAL!

[susana4]

OK what I am going to say is NOT really what I would suggest just reviewing your thread as it is pursuing.

Well if he was a WOA guy then thanking him, validating his AOS would be good.
Giving him a hug and thanking him might be good too.

But you may also get rejected with that,
so proceed with caution.

DB101 = do what works 180 what doesnt.

Maybe you just sit back and do nothing with the knowledge that you now have.
Maybe that QT - doesnt bother you as much now.

What do you think?

QT - yes, I think it will bother me less.

I'm halfway through 5LL now and I'm torn between WOA and AOS for my H. Some of his complaints point towards WOA -- that he didn't feel like himself, didn't want to do things that he thought might upset me -- I was criticising instead of using WOA. But his actions point towards AOS.

At any rate, it would be a 180 for me to thank him and validate his AOS. I scored really low on AOS and tbh I never really thought about his AOS until now, so I very rarely ever thanked him.

But you may also get rejected with that,
so proceed with caution.
Maybe, but he did thank me and gave me a hug when he came home last night and saw I did the dishes while he was on his trip. (Which confused me up until we had this discussion on AOS)

But, I will need to be careful not to go too far with it and pursue.

[susana4]

Ok...does anyone have any ideas on alcohol abuse and marking bottles? I've heard people talk about marking bottles but what do you mark them with? I kind of just want to know what I'm dealing with here.

I am getting more and more concerned about H's drinking habits. I know I can't have any influence over it, but I think it could be a factor in that event of a possible reconciliation.

A new bottle of vodka appeared from his trip, half drunk, but I'll give the benefit of a doubt and assume he drank it on his trip and brought the rest back.

However I'm 97% certain that the bottle of Sailor Jerry's wasnt opened yesterday when I went out and left H on his own, and now there are 7 shots worth missing. I find it concerning he's drinking that much sat at home on his own, especially since he told me last night he was really tired and was just going to unpack and get an early night.

Should I be concerned? I don't really know. 7 shots would really do a number on me, but I'm quite sensitive to the effects of alcohol.

When I saw there's more missing alcohol I just felt like I'd been punched. I hate seeing him spiral.

[susana4]

Looks like I'm going to get my Quality Time after all.

H asked me to let him know if I'm free tomorrow to go to the maze.

Text exchange we just had:

Me: X’s told me his dinner tomorrow’s at 7 so I’m free before that if you fancy the maze? Hope you are having a nice time at Z’s.
H: Yeah sounds great. We won't even have to leave super early then ay?

And I resisted replying for once! (Although maybe it's rude because he asked a question?)

Ok... Game face on tomorrow! PMA, and a really pretty dress.

[susana4]

Hope everyone had a good (or as decent as possible) Valentine's Day.

Mine was strange. Went to a gig with a friend that his friends had put on. The band was awful. Really, really awful. I nearly left. But instead of annoying me, it actually just amused me!

I'm in one of those "wtf am I doing here, I should just give up" moods. Not going to, I've learnt it's all part of the rollercoaster, and my moods pass. But I'm sitting here wondering wth I'm doing, and why the he!! H has agreed to go to this maze with me tomorrow. But I'm stopping myself mindreading.

Anticipating some pullback coming up as well. H was very touchy these last two days. His hugs per hour (HPH) was high. Usually after high HPH there's pullback.

But I need to (and want to) go into tomorrow with PMA. Upbeat. Happy. Smiling.

And NO EXPECTATIONS!