Made a list of some of what I need for the paper. Listed what things I need to tackle today and tomorrow.
I'm feeling a lot of clarity this morning about D12 and how she "[censored] me dry"...my mother's words. She does. Not her fault. She focuses on me because she only has me to focus on...that will change.
I just asked for 2 hours of alone time.
It's funny. I'm a huge Agatha Christie fan and one of the things I identify with in Poirot and Miss Marple is how they digest information. They get quiet and sort allow information to soak into their bones to come up with solutions. I do that. I NEED that. With D12 in my face 24/7, it's very difficult for me to focus and sort out what my next step is...Again, not her fault. But, something that has to change.
At home, homeschooling was different. The network was larger and the weather was better and we lived within a mile or two of three of D12's best friends. Here, homeschooling is still something odd and there isn't the network like in Ohio. I think I'm excited for her with this school idea.
Not blaming myself as much today for this situation. Accepting it is what is and how to handle it.
I will NOT be going to Ohio this week. I'm sick of this crazy d and I'm sick of waiting on support and I'm sick of it being a constant "in my face" stress...
It's snowing hard. I'm going to take a few hours of down time. Take a bath. Shovel some. Get a grocery list going. Pay some of the rent.
Ok. Getting overwhelmed. I will stop there for now. I'm going to chill until 1 p.m.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
