You sound as though you're doing great for the most part. You wrote about your dad: I learned growing up that it was excruciating to wait for the next time my dad would get angry, and I felt like I had to constantly monitor and help adjust his mood.
Whoa -- your dad and my mom were the same person! I think dh and I never fought because I was too afraid to ever make him angry with me. I tried to make everything smooth and never have any angry thoughts come toward me from him. Now I'm paying the price, however.
What does your h say or do when you ask for household help? Mine isn't living with me right now, but stays at our house on Sat & Sun nights with our girls while I go elsewhere. If I don't ask him specifically to do things, he does only the dishes. If I ask him to do laundry or something he usually does it. I've spent the past 8 years feeling resentful, thinking that I shouldn't have to ask him to do things around the house and being angry that he doesn't notice what needs doing. Maybe I should have just asked and been done with it. Sigh....
