Well, here's an update for any who are interested...and those who aren't - well, here it is anyway!!!
As far as goals from yesterday go...all our interactions yesterday were pretty pleasant - Dustin continues to come home early from work, but I think that's because he was playing a PS2 game at home, which he finished last night, so we'll see now.

I did my 45 minutes of crisis cleaning last night, and made quite a dent in the living room, and the bathroom is now completely picked up. The kitchen still looks like hell, but at least I started.

He remembered this morning that he was supposed to take S to daycare, so that was nice, although I was somewhat grouchy this morning...which was just idiotic - he did what I asked and let me sleep the last two nights instead of waking me up for . Now I miss the , and I am afraid we won't do that anymore! I just wanted to do it earlier! That'll teach me to open my mouth...be careful what you wish for.

I guess for me pmsing I am not doing terribly, but I am just so afraid I am driving him away, and I am not sure right now what I can do for damage control. I think I really hurt his feelings with my tirade the other morning, and I feel really bad about that.

Goals for today:
1) Every interaction kind and pleasant - including once he gets home and in the morning before I come to work!
2) Get the CCRS ppwk from him and give him a call so we can do the pay-by-phone for a bill that's due. Be extremely grateful for his help in dropping Rhane off and with the financial stuff.
3) Do more crisis cleaning this evening!!! It seemed to work really well.

I think I need to mentally prepare myself for more distancing. I think he may stay at work really late tonight, and may not initiate for a while. I am not being negative, but I need to think about those possibilities so I am not hurt and irritable if they happen. I need to remind myself...I have time to make this work. All I can give is my best effort. I need to concentrate on myself, or I won't be able to help with anyone else's (H's) needs.

We did have a really good time playing a PS2 game together last night - he bought us one at Walmart the other night. Oh, and we finally have the money to file for bankruptcy, so we will be getting a financial fresh start soon! I think he is really happy and relieved about that.

Is piecing supposed to be this hard? Just need someone to tell me this hard work is worth it, or will be eventually...
Hugs,
Myrrh

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.