Heather think of trying to juggle two or three balls. Many can learn how to do that. Add another ball and most will start dropping the balls. You are asking too much of yourself. If you have too many things that need your focus you will not be able to do them all well. Focus on your job.
If your daughter goes to school now she will go with a good foundation from the home schooling. Public school will teach her how to interact with her peers and prepare her for life. You will still be needed to help her with her homework.
I used to try and be super woman too. Now I live a much more balanced life and feel happier because of it. Be a friend to yourself and treat yourself with compassion and kindness. ((Hugs))
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
I was thoroughly chewed out. And, the publisher said he wanted to fire me last week, but the two editors (including the perf. editor) convinced him to make a list of expectations and meet as a team.
Human resources lady was there. I really like her.
I don't know how well I handled it. ??? I owned the mistakes and I was a little surprised at the things that upset the publisher. They were things I hadn't noticed/didn't realize...IDK.
I talked to the superintendent about enrolling D12. Waiting on a call back from the woman who creates the IEPs.
Can I do this?
I feel like an alcoholic...looking at the rest of my life and wondering how I will get through each day without a drink. Am I able to be a grown up person and get my job done the way they want?
Talked to my mom. Probably not the best idea. But, she was actually supportive...except...when I told her the above she said, "God, I hope so."
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, You now are aware of what the publisher's expectations are. Here you thought the perfectionist wasn't in your court, looks to me like both editors see potential and want to keep you on. The reason the human resources lady was there was because they are putting you on notice and want to document what has been discussed today. This is your wake up call.
Now, on to D12. Hopefully this school subject can be put the rest rather quickly and your D12 can attend school. This is a huge step in the right direction for your daughter and not only will she be busy and learn, but it will relieve some of the stressors that you have about her being alone.
YES, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
Your mom is being supportive and that's great. Now, it's one day at a time and you can do the job...if your editors didn't think you could, you would have gotten your walking papers. You've got people in your court who want to see you succeed, but in order to do that....you have to want to succeed yourself.
YOU CAN DO THIS! However, you will need to leave all of your personal baggage at home and this forum has to be put on hold when you are working. You get too easily distracted and caught up in other stuff that causes you to lose focus. Your job is on the line and it's far more important that you be gainfully employed than offering up support and/or advice on this forum throughout the day. The forum will be here at the end of the day if you want to check in. Also, you need to limit the amount of time you come here during your free time. Posting here takes up a lot of your time, time that you need to be utilizing to take care of things around your home and being there for your D12. Yes, I know, you feel the need to come here...but you do have a life out there and one that requires your full attention right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Heather. I wanted to just share some thoughts, if I may.
I think that you still allow those thoughts of you being less than, not good enough in and that is making you doubt yourself all over the place.
The truth is that you have accomplished so much...all on your own. You found a job in your field,moved across the country, found a place to live, got a car, got your daughter settled and put out several newsapapers. That is a helluva lot of stuff. Give yourself a break.
I really wanted to talk with you about your daughter. I have worked in special education for many years. Schools have changed a great deal in their approach to children with special needs.
Their approach now is as much inclusion as possible. Your daughter is really high on the spectrum scale. I would be very surprised if she isnt mainstreamed for most of the day.
I believe that she would gain way more being in a school then being homeschooled at this point. Just the socialization alone would be such a positive. For her and for you.
I know that you are very protective of her. I understand that. You actually have a very strong voice in determining what you want for her.
YOu do have to be her advocate when meeting with them. But you also have to get rid of the preconcieved notions you have regarding where they put her.
If it is a good school system, they will want her to succeed. And there are many different classes and programs that they could offer. With an IEP, things can get tweaked.
I really do think this would be such a positive for both of you. She is at an age where peer interaction is so important and you just cant provide that.
So, write everything down that you want to discuss with the school. Be open minded. Most importantly, show your daughter that you are excited at the possibilities for her. She will be watching your reactions and will feed off of what she thinks you are feeling.
Heather, you need to be careful that you do not build such a huge wall around your daughter that, when it collapses, it does so in a spectacular and maybe tragic way. Be your daughters advocate, but give her the gentle pushes she needs in order to grow in a healthy way. Its can be hard to see that when you are trying to be helpful, that you may actually be causing harm.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
