May life be;

[Ggrass]

In a way yes, the spew stbxh controlled me with for years, it comes out from time to time on a loop.

Stbxh really did a good job on both me and s17, I'm pretty sure we both hear the loop come to the surface.

I think it's getting better, but it's not gone yet. No where near, but often I can stop it and question it.

Not always, but then life's about slow channges



. Starsky said I was an overnight success after 18months !

Was he? Did s wake up and suddlenly he was a very different bloke?

Yes and no, he was doing some works before than inch by inch hardly showing each day anything.

Then bam, it comes together and things get very different.

Yes, I'm moving, no world record breaking pace.

It's slow and given the sorts of abuses stbxh, indulged in it's going to take quite a while. To rebuild, stbxh xw has taken years, and really I don't she will ever be there.

I am tougher I was streets ahead of her in growth. I knew/know more about personal groth than she will ever. She has no interest.

But I will come out better. Things will be better and I'm gunna make it that way.
Xh expected me to mother him and look after him as one would a child.

I need to work things out, what I can do? What I need to pay to have done?
Find my creative solution gg who just never said you know what I cant.
It might take longer it might be harder but it's just a work in progress.

Did I db given the sitch, um nope, but i didn't have all the facts. Have I leant stuff you bet.
I watch people doings more than I weight their words.


The link of the ow, was done by what people did, not by anything they said. Nothig has been said, but action no reply avoiding suggests I don't know the full story and are unlikely to.

Same watch those that talk big and act small, it's just out there like a big flag, and later you have drama with those people.
It's just about being more switched on, you don't need to act on things but just note them.

I think I'm more tuned in. I could see stuff before, but more so now. Before it took me ages to see people's crapola. Now I'm watching and noting.