I'm feeling really down today - think it's some toxic combination of Valentine's Day (I expected that though), having a drink last night (Dr told me I could have a couple but they might interact with ADs and make me drowsy), and not getting enough sleep.
I got up this morning and H was very talkative again, he asked me about roller disco and then he was telling me about his childhood (this validation and active listening thing really works!). Then he announced he was going out (this was at 11am) to meet his friend who's having a dinner party and help him with shopping and cooking. I know it's stupid to expect him to recognise V Day in any way or spend it here, but I did get annoyed that a) he didn't mention the day at all (tbh he probably doesn't even realise it's Valentine's Day) and b) I just feel sad it feels like H avoiding me because he never seems to be here any more. Or maybe it's more that when he's here, I'm out, and when I'm here, he's out.
I'm feeling a bit annoyed with myself as well because I told H he could decide which day/time we went to the maze, but now I've realised my plans for friend's bday tomorrow start earlier than I thought so I should have said today. But I didn't want H to think I was pushing to do something on V Day.
H seemed a bit sad he didn't have more time with me this morning because he said he wanted to show me his videos from his ski trip, and he brought up the maze himself and suggested tomorrow, then asked me to let him know once I find out my plans tomorrow because he's free all day. And he said we could go next weekend if not tomorrow. So that's a positive. I guess I should focus on that and that he seems to really want to go since he brought it up. Just can't help feeling down!
Hug count: 6 hugs and one sort of cuddle in 45 minutes
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
