The Owl and the Pussycat

[Meredith]

I am still somewhat afraid of him lying to me. I don't know if it's because of my feelings about my mom and dad and his constant affairs, or if it's just my brain being resistant ot the changes I am trying to make, and trying to shove me back into my "comfort" zone...but I'll get through it.

I can sum up my thoughts on this with ‘uh, yup’ !!

I know exactly how you feel. All too often I find myself terrified that I am doing all this very hard work of rebuilding trust and it is being built on a foundation of false-pretences. I’m afraid that the only thing that has changed is his ability to lie better and my ability to turn a blind eye.

How to curb those feelings and spin them around to positive thoughts? Well…I can offer empathy by the bucket load but solutions are harder. What works for me is coming up with a plan for the short term. If he doesn’t show, what will I do? If he comes late, what will I say? Etc. Something that gives me an if-then statement, and then I feel like it won’t be so bad. Listing out the positives in a before – after sort of way seems to help me as well.