The Owl and the Pussycat

[Lyrael]

Nope, no pencil and paper talk, but he has made a special effort to discuss financial plans with me and hash a few things out in the past few days.

Having a rough night, but for once it has nothing to do with my H - my mom and dad are getting a D, and it isn't one that could or should be B'd. I am totally behind my mom 100%, so I don't know why I still feel sad...I really am sad. I have to be careful, because sometimes me being sad translates into the urge to crazymake, but I am trying to be really honest with myself about my feelings. I feel sad about this - both that my dad is still embroiled in the worst kind of alien behavior, and has been for my whole life - 23 years. My mom deserves better than constant abuse and unfaithfulness.

I feel like a deflated balloon, somewhat. I am angry that my dad thinks its okay to be consistently unfaithful. I am angry that he doesn't seem to care about or want a relationship with me and my son. I am angry that he thinks his affairs don't and shouldn't affect his kids.

My dad was once the most important person in my whole life. I can't even remember what my point was in saying that. This D is the right thing, but why does it still hurt?

Positive baby step for me - coming to this board and honestly expressing my feelings instead of crazymaking with my husband. Today I am not afraid to be sad. I just am. I am going to go put on some music and work on the bathroom (cleaning it, that is) and cleaning up around the computer area. And I am not going to fight or hang on to my sadness; I am just going to let it be what it is.
Hugs to all,
Myrrh