Complex #4 - D talk started / Detaching continues

[SM34]

There will be a lot projection going on. She doesn't believe herself even at this point, so she's turning it around on you and accusing you of not believing her. And we knows you are right to not believe her because she's lying about all of it. You will see more of this as she continues to try to convince herself that this is just how you are...and that is why the marriage failed. Not because of the real reason which is her actually starting another relationship while pretending to be married...no that isn't the reason...the reason is that she married someone who doesn't believe anything she says and doesn't trust her. Her new man trusts her (Which is not actually true because he now knows what she's capable of).

I suspect what is going on now is that OP is extremely insecure about her still living with you. He feels threatened because you and her have shared history and he has a few weeks with a cheating married woman. He's telling her there will be no relationship unless she moves out and so she is pretending to push for that so she can tell him she is trying but you won't cooperate.

She will try to maintain the status quo of her seeing him but also still being married and living there in case things backfire...she is enjoying the thrill of two men pursuing her which is why you need to pull out of that game.

She won't tell her family I don't think.. not soon anyway. Not without another game changer.