Quote: He went crazy on me! Saying "we're not going to have power until Monday, they probably already turned it off, blah, blah, blah."
Then he has this lovely way of making these situations all my fault, and making me feel bad because I have to ask him for money - or maybe I am just projecting my own distress at not being completely financially independent. Anyway, this money thing is really crappy right now.
I want to chime in w/Betsey. Did he SAY that it is your fault? I didn't read that. ??? Are you putting words into his mouth/hearing things that he is not really saying/expecting the worst??? I know that I do this. And h will say, "did I say that?" and I say, "well...no..." Here I was assuming the worst and not giving him the benefit of the doubt which then in turn causes him to feel defensive and like I don't trust him. He has also said that maybe he SHOULD treat me the way that I accuse him of treating me! (Just to get a point across, but fortunately, he does NOT do that!!!) Then what would I do? Say, "see, I told you so! I knew you didn't really love me and that you'd rather be with your friends, and you don't care about our m, and on and on and on...
Are you trying to prove yourself right? Are you pigeonholing your h b/c of some of your own insecurities?
Wow, I like that story that Betsey told about the Pantera.
Kind of ties into another thought that I had-How can you (we) remove the victim in your (our) sit.? CAN you take care of your finances better if you do eat more PB&J or mac-n-cheese? Are there ways that you can save money so you can pay the bills w/o having to bug him for money?
Yes, I agree that he should be helping and not putting all of the burden on you, but if you continue to feel like he is "doing this TO you," you will feel angry with him and it will show. So, how can YOU take charge?
