Tootling along.

[Sotto]

Well, phase 4 for me.....Here's a link to my previous thread.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2537797#Post2537797

Just to recap:

July '14- H admits to a PA since Mar'14. I moved out. OW lives abroad with on/off R.

July - Sep '14 - We talk a lot H is lost, confused, loves me, 'feelings for OW'. No talk of D

Oct '14 - I 'drop the rope' - stop initiating convos. Hear from a friend that H says our R is over & he knows he wants a 'family' in his future. R with OW is 'rocky'

Nov & Dec '14- Occasional text contact with H. No talks. He sent me an Xmas present and card, plus HNY text.

Jan '15 - Phone call with H to discuss rabbit rehoming. No R talk. H seems self absorbed/stressed. Away for weekend alone to 'think about his life' - warm, pleasant convo.

Feb '15 - Instructed a L - about to focus on financials (H doesn't know yet). A is continuing as far as I know - but haven't asked lately.

[HeavyD]

Hi Toots

I am sorry this is dragging out so long for you. Are you exhausted? I know I am and wishing the process was over.

hang tough

[Sotto]

Hi Naj, thanks for asking. I'm doing ok thanks. But I have very little contact with H, which is relaxing in a way - but brings different issues of course. I just keep trotting along here - building up GAL plans and my new life. No talk of D for us - but H is pretty conflict avoidant and may struggle to 'go there' - who knows..

For now, I'd like to get our finances separated and get some more monetary security for me, without filing for D. So we'll see how that goes. In the meantime I'm moving forward, but the window is still open a chink if H cares to look in.

[edz]

First 10/10 for title !

Just cooking s well his dinner he'd object to the former, will check in on everyone later

[4mendmj]

Congrats toots on keeping moving forward. Good idea/advice too on separating finances. Not something I want to do at this time but all these different threads help remind us of things to keep in the back of our head as sitchs go different directions.

[Sotto]

Thanks Edz and 4M

I thought the title was apt as my sitch very much 'tootles' right now. Hopefully it might change to something more 'active or positive' at some point in the future.

Is Tootle a British word? Like Mizzle? My H is North American and was astonished to hear me say 'Cheerio!' to someone one day (well, they did said it to me first!) He didn't think anyone over here actually said things like that any more!

I know 4M. I would prefer not to 'go there' ideally. But it needs to be done. I'll keep you posted....

T x

[edz]

tootle
verb
1.
make a series of sounds by blowing a horn, trumpet, or similar instrument.
"he tootled on the horn"
2.
informal
go or travel in a leisurely way.
"they were tootling along the coast road"

[Sotto]

Thank you Edz

"he tootled on the horn" - I can probably work that one into a future thread title too...:-)

[jim0987]

Tootles is a good word though it makes me think of steam trains.

you say more active - what sort of things are you thinking?

[Sotto]

Hi Jim

Well I feel at the moment, we may be in the eye of the storm. There was the huge trauma of BD and the period after that. Then right now all is pretty quiet. But at some point, there will be some kind of resolution - we D, we reconcile - and that's what I mean by more active

Things will get more active when we start looking at financials.....but it's not an 'active' that I'm looking forward to.